Not sure why my old page disappeared. Maybe they don't like the password protection thingy, maybe it was inactive too long. I have no idea how long it has been gone. I don't know if you will even look at this one.
You have mentioned the song White Flag more than once. I have listened to it many times, contemplating what the lyrics mean to you. I finally realized what I was misunderstanding about your intent and what this song says for you about us.

"I'm in love, and always will be"
-Dido

I used to think this meant you would always be in love with me, but would hide it away and never surrender to it. Either my eternal hope or just plain refusal to accept reality led me to believe that. After all that has happened, I realize it is him you will always be in love with. That is the real reason there will be no White Flag, thus no surrender. Either way there can be no surrender, but I have cleared up the misunderstanding on my part.